Top 10 Unfortunate Or Embarrassing Deaths

10

Empedocles

430 BC

Manner of death: Threw himself into a volcano to become immortal

Empedocles was a Greek philosopher who is probably best remembered for his classical theory of the four elements. He was the last Greek philosopher to write his theories down in verse form. Legend has it that Empedocles threw himself into the active volcano Mount Etna in Sicily in order to fool his followers into believing that his body had vanished and that he would return as a god. Unfortunately for Empedocles, one of his sandals survived the fury of the volcano and it was discovered by his followers – revealing their leader’s deceit.

9

Pyrrhus of Epirus

272 BC

Manner of death: Killed when he was stunned by a tile thrown by an old lady

Pyrrhus of Epirus was one of the greatest conquerors – his heavy losses in one campaign has led to the term “pyrrhic victory” being coined in his honor. Pyrrhus was such a great warrior that a Spartan royal (Cleonymus) asked him to defeat Sparta and put him on the throne. Pyrrhus was defeated – having underestimated the strength of the Spartan warriors, so he moved on to his next campaign in Argos. As he entered the city through the narrow streets on the back of an elephant, an old woman (unhappy with the conflict) threw a roof tile at him from her balcony. The tile stunned Pyrrhus which allowed a common foot soldier to stab him – killing him.

8

Eleazar Maccabeus

162 BC

Manner of death: Killed by the elephant he killed

Eleazar Maccabeus’ death is told in the Old Testament book of “I Maccabees”. During the Battle of Beth-zechariah, Eleazar thought he saw the enemy King Antiochus V riding an elephant near by. Thinking he would perform a heroic act by killing the elephant and king, Eleazar jumped under the elephant and stabbed it in the stomach with his spear. The dead elephant fell right on top of Eleazar killing him instantly. To add insult to injury, it was not even the King’s elephant.

7

Emperor Valerian

260 AD

Manner of death: Used as a footstool then skinned

Valerian was a noble Roman who became Emperor Valerian I. During his disastrous reign, the western empire fell into total disrepair. In 260 AD, Valerian was defeated in the Battle of Edessa and taken captive by the Persian King Shapur I. In order to humiliate the Emperor, Shapur used him as a footstool. When he grew tired of his footstool, Shapur had Valerian skinned and had his skin stuffed with dung and straw and put on display in one of the large Persian temples.

6

Humphrey de Bohun

1322 AD

Manner of death: Speared through the anus

Humphrey do Bohun was a member of a very powerful Anglo-Norman family in England. He spoke out against the excesses of the King (Edward II). While leading troops at the Battle of Boroughbridge, Humphrey de Bohun (4th Earl of Hereford) met with a rather unpleasant end:

“[Humphrey de Bohun] led the fight on the bridge, but he and his men were caught in the arrow fire. Then one of de Harclay’s pikemen, concealed beneath the bridge, thrust upwards between the planks and skewered the Earl of Hereford through the anus, twisting the head of the iron pike into his intestines. His dying screams turned the advance into a panic.”

Strangely, death via anal insertion was not entirely uncommon during this period of the middle ages, as the next item will attest.

5

King Edward II

1327 AD

Manner of death: Speared through the anus with a hot poker

Edward II was King of England for 20 years (from 1307 – 1327). Edward greatly upset the nobility in England because he preferred low-born citizens and had many “special” male friends – who received extravagant and expensive gifts. After he abdicated the throne and was imprisoned, his wife Isabella (disturbed by the close relationship the king had shared with a young man in the Royal Court) brought about his execution in secret:

“On the night of 11 October while lying in on a bed [the king] was suddenly seized and, while a great mattress… weighed him down and suffocated him, a plumber’s iron, heated intensely hot, was introduced through a tube into his secret private parts so that it burned the inner portions beyond the intestines.”

4

Humayun

1556

Manner of death: Tripped over his skirts and fell down some stairs

Humayun Mughal Emperor who ruled modern Afghanistan, Pakistan, and parts of northern India from 1530–1540 and again from 1555–1556. He was a great lover of the arts and astronomy and left behind a great legacy as a consequence. However, he was also very religious and this is what led to his downfall (literally). As he was carrying books from the library, Humayun heard the call the prayer. It was his habit to kneel on one knee when the call was made, and as he bent his knee, his foot got caught in the folds of his long robes. He happened to be standing at the top of a small flight of stairs. Humayun fell all the way down and hit his temple on a jagged rock – which killed him.

3

Arthur Aston

1649

Manner of death: Beaten to death with his wooden leg

Sir Arthur Aston was a lifelong professional soldier, most noted for his support for King Charles I in the English Civil War. He was a great soldier who saw a great deal of action during his lifetime. In September 1644, he fell from a horse and ended up with a wooden leg which was later used in his murder. In 1649, Oliver Cromwell’s forces attacked his town in the Siege of Drogheda and ordered that everyone be executed. Aston offered to surrender but the soldiers who captured him believed that he was hiding gold in his leg. They ripped it off and beat him to break open the leg. Unfortunately it was solid wood and it killed Aston.

2

Julien Offray de La Mettrie

1751

Manner of death: Ironically ate himself to death

Julien Offray de La Mettrie was a French doctor, philosopher, and potentially the founder of cognitive science. He believed that sensual pleasures (such as eating, sex, and play) were the sole reason for life, and so he decided to live his life by that principle. Julien was an atheist and believed that life on earth was just a farce to be lived and ended in self-gratification. Ironically, he died rather painfully after eating too much truffle pate at a feast held in his honor by a man he cured of an illness.

1

Bandō Mitsugorō VIII

1975

Manner of death: Died after eating pufferfish which he claimed to be immune to

Bandō Mitsugorō VIII was one of Japan’s most highly regarded Kabuki (a type of dance/drama) actors – so much so that he was declared a national treasure. On the 16th of January, the natural treasure decided to dine out on fugu liver (highly toxic) claiming that he was immune to it. The fugu chef who served him said that he simply could not refuse to serve the deadly livers to such an esteemed gentleman. Needless to say, Mitsugoro died within 7 hours.

Top 10 Scariest Filipino Monsters

10

Aswang

The aswang is probably the most common of Filipino monsters since there are so many different kinds. In general, they are shape shifters who are human by day and then at night turn into a dog, a pig, a bat, cat, snake… the type of animal depends on the regional lore. They break into funeral homes and steal recent corpses. They are also known to enter homes to drink human blood and can turn people into aswang by tricking the human to bite them in return. The aswang are especially hungry for human fetus so some of the more superstitious stories include neighborhoods patrols set up in front of the home of a pregnant woman to protect her from wandering stray animals in case they are the aswang in disguise.

9

Matruculan

The Matruculan is one of many Filipino creatures who attack pregnant women. This particular creature first impregnates a virgin before coming back later to kill the woman and eat the fetus (although some stories say that both mom and baby are eaten). Some stories claim that the woman is not a virgin but rather married and already pregnant. To protect the mother and child, the husband must swing a balisong (pictured above), or butterfly knife, above the woman’s belly while she is in labor. This leads one to wonder: which is scarier, an invisible mythological creature, or the father of your unborn child brandishing a knife above your abdomen?

8

Kapre

These are hairy giants with glowing eyes and a cigar that never burns out. They can usually be found sitting atop of trees waiting for nightfall to scare naughty children who are outside of their homes late at night. The Kapre is a unique Filipino monster because he doesn’t steal fetuses, eat people or cut them up. The Kapre simply enjoys scaring children… and I suppose laughing at them for being scared. Some stories claim they are actually very friendly beings who can grant wishes if you find their magical white stone. One can assume a Kapre is nearby when trees sway while there is no breeze or you see faint smoke from high above, probably from the Kapre‘s cigar..

7

Duwende

These are tiny human-like creatures that live underground. There are two main types of Duwende: the duwende puti who are supposedly kind creatures who bring about good luck, or the duwende itim who are mean folk that like to play pranks on humans. They generally keep to themselves and only interact with humans when their homes are disturbed. For example, a kindly farmer who takes care of his plot may be rewarded by the duwende puti with a greater abundance of crops than usual. However, someone who kicks an anthill on or near the home of a duwendi itim will be punished with a myriad of ailments from twisted mouth to swollen testicles. The best way to avoid Duwende of any kind is to say “Tabi-tabi po” aloud before entering what might be their space.

6

Tiyanak

The tiyanak is similar to the Greek mythological siren in that it lures its prey with its voice. A person hears a baby cry from deep in the woods and then follows the sound to rescue the baby. Some stories say the person wanders aimlessly in search for the baby and becomes hopelessly lost. Other stories claim that the person eventually finds a baby in the middle of the woods. When it is picked up, the baby then shape-shifts into a monster with large, sharp teeth. It then eats the person and transforms back to a baby to await its next victim. With either version, the story ends with “… and he was never found again.”

5

Sigbin

Depending on region and storyteller, the sigbin resembles either a hornless goat, a reptilian crow, or something vaguely along the lines of the Chupacabra. What is most common with all accounts is that its head hangs between its forelegs which are much shorter than its hindlegs. Whether because of physiology or because it makes the sigbin seem scarier, it is also known to crabwalk backwards. The sigbin also has a long whip-like tail that emit’s a foul stench and two grasshopper-like legs on its neck that enable it to jump far distances. They wander around at night in search of children to devour but they keep the hearts to make amulets. Most stories and sightings originate from the Cebu region. However, although it is some distance away, in 2005 scientists in Borneo discovered a “cat-fox-like carnivore” with hind legs longer than forelegs giving it an awkward gait and physical appearance that somewhat fits many of the descriptions of the sigbin (e.g. long tail, short forearms, can jump far distances, carnivorous). No conclusive evidence has been found yet to link the two together. 

4

Tikbalang

The tikbalang is described as having the head of a horse, the body of a man and the hooves of a horse where human feet would be. In northern regions, the tikbalang is considered a nuisance but generally harmless. They enjoy disorienting weary travelers and making them imagine things that don’t exist. Travelers can easily stop the pranks by turning their own shirt inside out and asking the tikbalang to stop bothering them. The stories of tikbalang from southern regions paint the creature as a much more sinister monster. He has glowing red eyes, a large cigar and smells of the stench of burning hair. When angered (and he angers easily), the tikbalang will stamp you to death. To tame the beast, the person must pluck the one of three unusually long hairs found in its mane. After that, the tikbalang is your slave. Folklore states that when the sun shines through the clouds while it is raining, a pair of Tikbalang are getting married.

3

Kumakatok

In the middle of the night, a knock will sound at the door and outside are three hooded figures, one a pretty, young woman and two elderly men. There are no stories of how the group was formed or where they originated but tales about them have popped up all over the Philippines and with more frequency around the time of outbreaks. Legend has it that a visit from them is an omen that someone in the family will soon die. There are no paintings or hangings that can keep them at bay. Leaving the door unanswered does not help either. They simply knock and leave and then someone would still die shortly thereafter.

2

The White Lady / Kaperosa

The White Lady is a specific kind of Multo, or ghost. Most multo tend to be family members who come back to certain relatives to take care of unfinished business but the White Lady is unique in that she doesn’t appear to only her relatives or even to specific people she knew when alive. Many sightings have reported her in empty buildings, near forests and on cliffs. However, she is most commonly reported seen along Balete Drive in Quezon City. She was a young lady who was raped and killed by two Japanese soldiers during WWII. While there haven’t been stories of the White Lady being a purposefully malicious being, she has been the reported as the cause of more than a few car accidents by drivers who look in their rearview mirror and see a young lady in the backseat wearing a white dress. Sure, some strange, unknown lady sitting in your backseat is bad enough but the White Lady is also said to have no face or a face covered in blood.

1

Manananggal

The Manananggal is sometimes considered to be a special breed of the aswangs. They are sometimes referred to as “Tik-tik” because of the sound it makes while in flight. To confuse its victims, the tik-tik sound becomes fainter as she nears. These creatures generally take on the form of a beautiful woman with large, leathery bat wings. The lower half of her body takes root to the ground while the upper part detaches as she flies in search of food. The manananggal has a taste for human blood and a particular craving for the hearts of human fetuses which it retrieves with its long, proboscis-like tongue. Like the Western culture’s vampire, the manananggals hate garlic and salt so hanging garlic or placing a bowl of salt near the window is the best way to keep them away. To kill a manananggal, one must find the lower body and spread salt or ashes on the open wound. That prevents the two halves from joining and transforming back to human form when daylight breaks.

10 Bizarre Creatures from Japanese Folklore

10

Kappa

Now, at first glance, there’s nothing too ‘outlandish’ about a Kappa. It’s a little goblin-like creature, frequently referred to as a water monkey. A Kappa has a dent in its head that is full of water from its native spring. If the water spills out of its head, it looses its magical powers. Kappas generally drink blood but can be either good or evil. Kappas love to eat cucumbers and a family wishing to gain the favor of a kappa, or at least avoid its wrath, writes their names on a cucumber and throws it into the Kappa’s pond. The creatures are known for being polite and always keeping promises. The strange thing about Kappas in Japanese folktales is that there are over a dozen different, weirdly specific categories of Kappa. There are different names for one-eyed Kappas, hairy Kappas, cowardly Kappas, mountain-climbing Kappas, and even party animal Kappas.

9

Heikegani

The Heikegani are on this list for one very cool reason: they actually exist. Heikegani Crabs are a species of arthropod native to Japan. Originally, Japanese myth states that these crabs bore the faces of Heike samurai that died in the battle of Dan-no-ura, and indeed, the bodies of these crabs do in fact resemble human faces. Carl Sagan proposed that, in the past, Japanese people only ate Heikegani crabs that didn’t resemble samurai faces, therefore ensuring that those with markings resembling a human face would survive and have offspring. Nowadays, most crabs have bodies resembling human faces; however, at a mere 1 or 2 inches in diameter, they’re not eaten very often.

8

Kasa-obake

The Kasa-obake is a type of Tsukumogami – an object that spontaneously comes to life after existing for 100 years. The idea of inanimate objects spontaneously developing spirits after a certain amount of time seems reasonable enough when you consider how strange legends and folklore tend to be to begin with. The bizarre thing about the Kasa-obake is that, apparently, umbrellas were animating so often that someone eventually decided that they required their own name, just to separate them from other Tsukumogami. That’s right, Kasa-obake is the name of an animated parasol.

7

Nuppeppo

There’s not nearly enough information about the Nuppeppo to satisfy my curiosity. Nuppeppos are animated lumps of human flesh. They walk around on their own hands and are most often spotted in graveyards or deserted temple areas at midnight. Where do they come from? Why are they alive? Do they smell bad? Why do most images of them seem to be downright cute? We don’t have nearly enough information about this horror-film fodder.

6

Makura-Gaeshi

Here, we have another case of Japanese folklore being bizarre if for no other reason than its specificity. The Makura-gaeshi is a trickster spirit notorious for… moving pillows while people sleep. Some sources say they also sprinkle sand in the eyes and steal souls, but, really, what they’re known for is moving pillows. Stories don’t specify how far the pillows are moved, some sources claim that they move pillows all the way to the foot of the bed while the victim is peacefully asleep.

5

Mokumokuren

The mokomukuren is another example of a bizarrely specific creature. In ancient Japan, sliding walls made of paper were fairly common. Paper, however, can collect holes and become torn. A Mokumokuren is a spirit that inhabits a sliding paper wall with a hole in it. If the owner of the wall is careless, the wall may collect more holes, and the more holes there are in the wall, the more likely somebody is to notice the eyes if the Mokumokuren peeking out. This probably becomes a bit unnerving, over time, and the only way to get rid of a Mokumokuren is to repair the holes in the wall.

4

Konak jiji

The Konak jiji is simply a malicious little creature. It takes the form of an infant and lurks in remote mountain areas, waiting for an innocent traveler to pass by. When a victim is in sight, the Konak jiji begins to cry. Now, it’s human nature to want to stop a baby from crying, and so most kindhearted travelers will seek out the wailing infant and, of course, make the fatal mistake of picking it up to comfort it. Once the Konak jiji is picked up, it grows unbearably heavy. Some sources say that they can grow up to over 350 kilograms in weight, enough to do serious damage to anybody holding them. Most of the time, it’s not possible to drop a Konak jiji because you become paralyzed once you pick it up. It’s not all bad, though – If you manage to survive the crushing weight of the Konak jiji, it may give you magical gifts.

3

Akaname

The Akaname is on this list because it is both bizarrely specific and bizarre in its own right. Akaname can be translated to ‘filth licker’, and that’s no misnomer. The Akaname is a hideous type of Japanese bogeyman that quite literally licks dirty bathrooms clean with its tongue and the aid of poisonous saliva. It is believed that the monster may have originated as a way for parents to motivate their children to keep the bathroom clean.

2

Ittan Momen

The Ittan momen looks harmless enough; after all, it’s only a strip of white cloth, oh, 33 feet long or so. It has a habit of flying around at night, which is a bit weird, but not too frightening. It’s not frightening, that is, until it becomes scared or frightened, or if it’s just plain evil. Then, it may wrap around your head and crush your skull or smother you to death. It’s not all bad, though- Ittan momen enjoy being worn by people who have gained their trust, although how, exactly, one gains the trust of a giant strip of cloth seems to be a mystery.

1

Shirime

Time for something a little crass. Shirme was the name given to an apparition of a man with an eyeball where his anus should have been. Now, we’re not given much, if any information on why such an apparition should exist at all. In fact, there is only one recorded story of the Shirime, but the idea was apparently so well liked by the Japanese poet and artist Yosa Buson that he included it in several of his paintings of supernatural creatures. The story of the Shirime simply states that a lone samurai was walking down a road at night when somebody called to him. He turned, to see a mysterious man undressing and pointing at his derriere when a large, glittering eye opened from the indicated area. The samurai was, understandably, so horrified that he ran away screaming, and the Shirime was never seen again.